Passion in His Angry Hands

He was so stressed up from work when he came over to meet me. He's in his usual business attire, coat and tie to be exact, with a forced smile on his face. I never asked how his day was because its going to be a stupid question. Instead, I greeted him with a kiss on his cheek and put my hand on top of his while he was driving.

When we reached our destination he barked at the valet when he was told he has to wait for a free parking space. I feared for the valet because I know my companion's temper. He has the capacity to hurt other people with his selfish ego. As he declared his identity I've seen the fear in the valet's face. We were able to park at the VIP.

The moment we entered the room I tried my best to pamper him. I am very cautious with my answers to his questions and with my insights during our conversations. He was so gentle and passionate then suddenly he was in rage. He was so mad when I refused total submission to his fantasies. The next thing I know was I am feeling the tingling sensation as his hand landed on my face. He was out of control. He became a monster that time and I cried.

When he got back to his sanity he held me in his arms, apologizing, telling me he never meant to hurt me. I accepted his apology thinking he just got carried away. This is the beginning of his abuse.

He said, I couldn't keep a man...

Whenever we're together, we never sugarcoat conversations. We always talk about reality but most of the time I let him do the talking else we end up arguing about our different principles in life. When he needs me I am always there yet what else should I expect, he is always the opposite. I can never demand but I have been submissive to his needs. I feel rebellious but I cannot argue anymore.

One day he told me "You could never keep a man.", I am surprised. I thought to myself maybe he's right. I am willing to do everything but I am afraid of commitment. Honestly I am afraid because deep down inside of me I know I am dealing with a very selfish man. When he speaks I get fascinated but I don't trust his words because his eyes tells me that everything's a lie.

There had been other relationship attempts I made but end up comparing them to him. If I cannot deal with this difficult man then maybe I can't deal with any guy at all. Its really hard to determine if this is love or obsession. One thing I'm sure of, I'm stuck of being his property...his very own GEISHA.

What is a Geisha?

Geisha (芸者), Geiko (芸子) or Geigi (芸妓) are traditional, female Japanese entertainers whose skills include performing various Japanese arts such as classical music and dance.